


A Million Dreams

by tearxofink



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Lots of Angst, M/M, anything else I add will spoil the end so I'll just stop here, but not right away, it's a sad ending, it's just Roman angst, someone kind of dies but not really, there's a gentleman (?) in distress, there's no villain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-16 18:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearxofink/pseuds/tearxofink
Summary: Roman’s eyes immediately fell on the gorgeous young man sitting chained on the floor. His true love. His happy ending. Roman ran over, falling to the ground in front of him and letting his sword clatter to the ground.“Roman?” The man's voice was hoarse from disuse, but it was still somehow the most beautiful thing Roman had ever heard.“Yes, yes, it’s me.” He was nearly crying now. He’d dreamed of this day for so long, and now it was here. Even his imagination hadn’t done it justice. Not even close. This was so much better.He was unable to think of the words to convey his wild, unruly joy. Love was a feeling thousands of times more perfect than even flying miles above the rest of the world. Roman didn’t know what to do besides kiss the man in front of him. His true love. He couldn’t stop saying it: his true love.Roman dreams of being loved, of being cared for, of not being alone. Taking matters into his own hands, he goes out into the world, in search of his one true love.





	A Million Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I was bored. I wanted to write. I haven't yet written Roman angst, so I wrote Roman angst and this is what happened. It's. Not my best? But not my worst? So?

_I close my eyes, and I can see a world that’s waiting up for me, that I call my own._

He was flying. Soaring, really. The word flying didn’t do it justice. That just made it sound so _dull_. The word soaring, on the other hand, had a certain magic to it, a magic that Roman felt all around him. Nothing could be more perfect than this, surely. Nothing could possibly make him feel more himself. For God’s sake, he was on a dragon. This was everything he’d ever dreamed and more.

Throwing his head back and letting his hair become tangled in the wind, Roman let out a whoop of glee. For just a moment, he allowed himself to let go of the reigns and shut his eyes, listening to and caring about nothing besides the wind that engulfed him. Then the moment passed, and he held on again, but the joy he’d felt was still there. It was a joy that could only be expressed through songs or tears, and because either would be lost to the wind, Roman had to settle for a blissfully delirious smile instead.

Still smiling, Roman and the dragon passed through a cloud, and- there it was. A lone tower, twisting upward, reaching towards the sky. His destination, the whole reason he’d flown all this way. What was at the top would make his entire journey worth it.

Roman directed the dragon to the foot of the tower where it landed with a heavy thump. He slid off of it and landed neatly on the ground. Stroking the shimmering golden scales, he said, as though the dragon could understand him, “I’ll be back soon, not to worry.”

_Through the dark, through the door, through where no one’s been before_

Placing one hand on his sword, Roman used the other to push open the door, bracing himself for an adversary of any form.

He was met only with endless darkness. The prince let out a breath, shouldering the door the rest of the way open and stepping inside.

With a sound that nearly made him jump out of his skin, the heavy wooden door slammed itself shut. No turning back now, it seemed.

_But it feels like home._

Roman felt his way through the darkened interior of the tower, searching for the stairs. This should be easy. In, then out, then eternal bliss. Simple. Hopefully, he wouldn’t run into anything that would put a wrinkle in his flawless plan.

Naturally though, as he thought that, he heard a voice. It started as barely a whisper, hardly audible. Roman couldn’t make out any words, at least not at first. Then the voice grew in volume, tearing at his eardrums. It was both suave and grating all at once, but most of all, it was intensely disorienting. Within seconds, Roman had absolutely no idea as to where he was. But even then, he had no idea what the voice was saying.

He should have savored that while it lasted. If only he’d known.

_This isn’t real._

Roman pushed the voice aside. Of course this was real. Why wouldn’t it be? How couldn’t it be?

_You’re going to fail. You’re fooling yourself._

No, he wasn’t. He was no fool. 

Though it felt like he was like moving underwater, he took a step. His foot hit the bottom of a stair. See? He’s making progress. He lifted his foot, placing it onto the next step.

 _Wake up._

What did that even mean? He _was_ awake. 

Roman lifted his other foot, placing it on the same step as the first. Everything felt heavy, but he could do this. He’d faced worse. He made it up two more steps before the voice returned, louder this time.

_This isn’t real._

Why was it telling him this? It would be one thing if it were preying on his insecurities in order to keep him from achieving his goal, but these weren’t thoughts that had even crossed his mind before now. Some voice that was trying to tell him that he was imagining his reality couldn’t possibly stop him. Roman took another step.

_You’re going to fail. You’re fooling yourself._

He shook his head. This was becoming more of a nuisance than anything.

_Wake up._

With a sigh, Roman ignored the voice again. It was probably best to keep it out of his mind entirely for now, concentrate on climbing the stairs. That was the bigger problem, anyway. Not some voice that wasn’t even doing its job correctly.

_They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy._

He’d climbed fifty steps now. Fifty-one. Surely, he should be nearing the top by now. Surely the sluggish, underwater feeling should have worn off by now.

No matter. Roman wouldn’t give up.

_They can say, they can say I’ve lost my mind._

It only took six more steps for the voice to become overwhelming. There was no pause between any of the words, and Roman could hardly think. It wasn’t even all that loud, it was just a constant drone of _Thisisn’treal.You’regoingtofail.You’refoolingyourself.Wakeup.Thisisn’treal.You’regoingtofail.You’refoolingyourself.Wakeup.Thisisn’treal.You’regoingtofail.You’refoolingyourself.Wakeup.Thisisn’treal.You’regoingtofail.You’refoolingyourself.Wakeup._

The voice was absolutely unbearable. He wanted to scream. 

So he did. “STOP! JUST STOP! YOU’RE WRONG!”

Miracle of miracles, everything went silent. Finally, Roman could breathe again. There was light, and he no longer felt like he was underwater. What had that voice even been? He thought on it for only a moment. It no longer mattered though, so he forgot about it almost immediately.

Roman ran the rest of the way up the stairs, the voice nothing but a distant memory.

_I don’t care, I don’t care so call me crazy._

He didn’t count the last hundred or so steps. He couldn’t have, that’s how fast he was running. He had to make it to the door at the top of the stairs. He was so close. So close. Just a few more feet, then he’d find his happily ever after.

Panting, Roman reached the door. Trying the handle and finding it to be locked, he pulled his sword out of its sheath and used the blade to cut straight through that very handle. With a clang, it fell off. As the door creaked slightly open, Roman saw the other half of the handle on the stone floor. Still holding his sword in his hand, he opened the door the rest of the way.

His eyes immediately fell on the gorgeous young man sitting chained on the floor. His true love. His happy ending. Roman ran over, falling to the ground in front of him and letting his sword clatter to the ground.

“Roman?” The man's voice was hoarse from disuse, but it was still somehow the most beautiful thing Roman had ever heard.

“Yes, yes, it’s me.” He was nearly crying now. He’d dreamed of this day for so long, and now it was here. Even his imagination hadn’t done it justice. Not even close. This was so much better.

He was unable to think of the words to convey his wild, unruly joy. Love was a feeling thousands of times more perfect than even flying miles above the rest of the world. Roman didn’t know what to do besides kiss the man in front of him. His true love. He couldn’t stop saying it: his true love.

Fireworks couldn't even have begun to describe what seemed to happen when their lips met. It was so much more. So much better. For once, Roman didn’t want to sing out his happiness. This was something that was entirely his. And he wanted to keep it that way.

_We can live in a world that we design…_

After their mini makeout session, both Roman and his love seemed to remember the chains. “Right,” Roman whispered, relishing in the feeling of their faces so close together before he leaned back.

That was when everything went wrong. The chains that had previously been nothing but normal chains turned into a pure black and began moving of their own accord. They peeled off of the man they’d been holding captive and reached toward Roman, separating into different tendrils, each twisting gradually closer. 

Roman stumbled back, his sword forgotten. What use was a sword against inky, incorporeal tentacle things? As one of the writhing strands of goo got close enough to touch him, Roman began to scream. Something was very, very wrong. He didn’t know what, but something was causing him intense pain, nothing like he’d ever experienced before. It wasn’t coming from the sticky black things, he knew that much. It radiated out from his heart, tearing through his body towards each tendril that gripped him. What was it? Because it hurt. More than he could possibly describe.

He had no idea if he kept screaming, but when he regained awareness of something besides the pain from his own heart, the grotesque cords of darkness were nowhere to be seen. The world looked so much emptier without them. The sun was less bright, and everything looked duller. It was as if they’d drained the life from everything Roman saw. 

But at least they were gone now, and with them, the pain he’d been feeling had vanished as well. Checking himself quickly for any injuries, Roman then crawled back over to the stunned, silent man. “It’s okay, I’m okay. I’ll get you out of here now.”

Roman picked up the sword from the stone floor, sheathing it again. The chains were gone now, after all. There was no use for it. He stood, extending a hand to help his love up after him. The man reached up, but his hand slid right through Roman’s. His face turned blank. He didn’t react.

Roman, on the other hand, frowned deeply. He crouched, attempting to take his hand again, but the same thing happened. Roman couldn’t touch him.

Growing frantic, Roman tried to touch some other part of his body. He lifted his hands to the other’s face, trying to hold it just as he had only a few minutes ago. He couldn’t though. He tried to place his hands on his shoulders, to no avail. Roman felt tears well up in his eyes again, but this time, it was for an entirely different reason. 

“I can’t lose you,” he sobbed. “I can’t lose you.”

The man gave him a sad smile. He seemed to be growing more and more transparent. 

“No.”

His hands began to vanish. 

“No, no!”

Then his arms, legs, torso. Roman couldn’t do anything but watch and sob. 

“No! You were here! You were real!” He took a quivering breath. “Please, come back. Please, please, please.” 

The man was gone. And Roman remembered the voice. 

_This isn’t real._

But he had been. This had to be!

_You’re going to fail._

He hadn’t, he couldn’t have. The man was going to come back, alive and well. Roman was going to live happily ever after.

_You’re fooling yourself._

Roman sobbed. He should have listened. He wished he had listened.

_Wake up._

He opened his eyes, wishing he could forget his dreams. Just this once. He didn’t want to have to remember what he’d almost had. The love he’d fooled himself into believing in. The voice that had warned him. The heartbreak everything in his mind had tried to save him from. If only he hadn’t been so intent on not being alone. 

Perhaps that was what his dream had been trying to tell him. Perhaps that was all he was ever meant to be.

Alone.

_...A million dreams is all it’s gonna take._

_A million dreams for the world we’re gonna make._

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked that, I would appreciate if you did something that shows me that you appreciate what you just read. Comment? Kudos? Ya know?


End file.
